I was going through my old books and came upon a small book titled: Gods, Sex and The Saints, by George B. Arbaugh, dated 1957. The title was enough to get me into the book and I skimmed through Chapter Two, The Romance of The Gods. Interesting to say the least. That’s a lot of procreating.
Of course, it dealt with the doctrine of Plural Marriage, plurality of Gods and eternal procreation in the Celestial Kingdom, for all “worthy” Mormons.
Let me give you my one-minute lecture on this doctrine, often referred to as
The Law of Eternal Progression.
This LDS doctrine teaches that we were all born as spirit children in our pre-existent life on a planet near the great star, Kolob. Mormonism teaches that the god of this world, Elohim, was once a man on some other planet, earned godhood, was exalted and with many goddess wives, sent to his heavenly orb, where through sexual union, he and his goddess wives have been busy procreating enough spirit children to people this earth, over which he exercises his godhood authority.
OUR FAMOUS GOD MAKERS CARTOON ILLUSTRATION OF THE LAW OF ETERNAL PROGRESSION
Worthy LDS men and women, through obedience to all the laws and ordinances of the LDS gospel and through vows and sacred rituals in the LDS temple, learn the sacred words, handgrips and ‘passwords’ needed to enter into Celestial glory and begin the same process for their own planet. That is a pretty simple explanation for the core of Mormon theology and religious practice.
If you want specific LDS proof documentation, go to my website, and look at the articles, Do They Really Believe that? And The Law of Eternal Progression.
Back to the Subject at Hand
A few years ago, I was reading a newsletter published by the Homeowners’ Association at the development where we lived. In it was a little section of “Interesting Facts.” It was quoting an article the writer read in a recent issue of National Geographics. So, this is a three-off set of references.
The article estimated that about 108 billion people have lived on the earth since the Stone Age. In another article I received recently, the author estimated that it was about 10,000 years ago when the population began doubling.
From those figures, I stepped into the estimating game and came up with an amount that seems far more modest and is less than half the National Geographic figure.
Remember these are my estimates and not related to reality, but to the Mormon doctrine of eternal progression.
OK. Now let us do a little Math.
Let us say that Elohim and his wives have already procreated 50 billion spirit babies and began sending them down to earth to gain bodies and earn godhood through the obedience to the Laws and Ordinances of the Mormon Gospel. Apparently the first of Elohim’s spirit offspring were the cave man clans from which modern man presumably ascended and up and through the mid 19th century.
Ooops! Most were born before these Laws and Ordinances were available to test these people. Elohim sure goofed on that one. Well, Thank Elohim for his catch-up doctrine of Baptism for the Dead.
Because I am going to have many emails telling me that I did not account for Creationism or the flood, I must remind you that I am writing about Mormon Theology, not Christian theology.
However, I am going to cut that obviously questionable number of people who have lived on the earth down to half and just deal with 25 billion people who have, to date, lived on the earth. Forget the National Geographic figure of 108 Billion for now. What do those people know, anyway?
What Kind of God Am I?
To procreate 25 billion spirit babies, Elohim would have to impregnate one goddess wife per minute for over 17 million days, nonstop. Or, if he was also working at being the operative god of mankind here on earth and only impregnated one goddess wife every ten minutes, it would take him 170 million earth days. So many spirit babies running around. Must be a day-care nightmare. Especially since they have ‘form’ but no bodies yet. I’m not sure they can even see them.
Mormon leaders, in the past, have stated that the pregnancy time in the Celestial Kingdom is about the same as earth. I have trouble with that. Since the goddesses are carrying spirit babies, same in form, but without bodies, I am going to take license here and opine that such an easier pregnancy is just 6 earth months up there in Celestial Ville. I don’t know how the umbilical cord system works with spirit babies. Maybe an LDS reader could help me out here.
I’m also a bit fuzzy here because our earth years are established by the earth’s rotation around our sun. Their planet’s rotation around the great star Kolob somewhere in some other place in the universes must certainly be different than ours.
Ok. I have all the pieces together now for my outstanding conclusion. The fellows at National Geographic and the author of the Newsletter article gave estimates of how many people are being born on earth each year right now. Now I am going to work with their figure of 140 million.
There are 3,153,600 seconds in a year. To produce that many spirit babies in a year, Elohim, in his powerful godhood, would have to complete approximately 4.5 [four and a half] sexual unions per second to keep up with the demand for spirit babies. Moreover, he must do that without falling over his scrambling goddesses as they swirl around him getting in line for the next go-around. Remember, Elohim and his goddesses have bodies of flesh and blood. Real people. When do they stop having babies? Doesn’t menopause exist in this place of gods and goddesses?
So much for taking care of any business as god of the earth. One might as well be praying to a stone for all the attention a prayer would have to get this guy’s attention. I wonder when he gets to eat or sleep.. no time for it.
Remember, LDS doctrine has Jesus away in the terrestrial kingdom, where he has s dominion over those who have lived respectably but were blinded by the craftiness of men” and thus rejected the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ when it was presented to them in this life.
It also includes persons who rejected the “testimony of Jesus in the flesh, but afterwards received it” in the spirit world and those who “are not valiant in the testimony of Jesus” after having received it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degrees_of_glory#Inhabitants_2
The Overbearing Goddesses of Mormonism
If we look at this from the Mormon goddess viewpoint and use the two spirit babies/per year yardstick, we come up with this unfathomable fact.
If this many spirit babies are cycling through the Celestial day-care system right now and if we can agree that each goddess is giving birth to and nurturing two babies per year, then it requires every worthy Mormon goddess up there to handle the twice a year, half of a second encounters with the exalted hubby and the resulting child-rearing. Eternal pregnancy. Hardly heavenly goddess duty after the thousandth spirit baby.
Let’s Get Real
We have no clue on how many wives Elohim took with him to that planet near the great star Kolob, but here on earth, there have not been a total of 70 million righteous temple worthy lady Mormons to date since Joseph Smith restored this gospel of eternal sex, as Granny Geer used to call it.
If Elohim’s home planet [where he was a man] was actually big enough to produce that many needed worthy goddesses for every worthy exalted man-god, than his earth was a whole lot different from this one he was given to exercise his godhood over.
Let’s get real here. This is beyond absurd! This is beyond idiotic. This is so far beyond human logic and intelligence that to accept this fable, contrived by the vain imaginations of depraved leaders is to deny the true Christ and the reality of truth within God’s Holy Word. It is beyond an anti-Christ spirit. It is the degenerate act of self-worship.
These are not the doctrines of God, but the very doctrines of demonized men who are leading a whole people to a hell bound eternity.
The Bible Says
2 Tim 4:3, 4
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables.
1 Tim 1:3-4
As I urged you when I went into Macedonia– remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine, nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith.
1 Tim 4:1
Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons,
The Mormons who live this lie Are without Excuse
Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful;
but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image
made like to corruptible man,
and to birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things.
Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts,
to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
Who changed the truth of God into a lie and worshipped
and served the creature more than the Creator,
who is blessed for ever. Amen. Rom 1:20-25
2 Cor 11:13-15
For such are false apostles, deceitful workers,
transforming themselves into apostles of Christ.
And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light.
Therefore, it is no great thing if his ministers also transform themselves into ministers of righteousness, whose end will be according to their works.
Contact Ed Decker at ed@saintsalive.com
